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FIONA: (spoken) There are things you don’t know, ya know. About me. About how rough I had it! SHREK: (spoken) What, in that cushy tower of yours? FIONA: (spoken) Cushy! Are you kidding? (sung) I had nothing in that tower, fighting boredom by the hour. Princess Lonely, walking circles. I had only... Bare essentials – army cot, a hot plate and chamber pot, and every morning I would boil it. No choice, I had no toilet. Just a view of devastation out one window. Isolation in my bedroom. And very little headroom. Twenty years I sat and waited. I'm very dedicated. On the walls the days were added. Luckily those walls were padded! So... I think I got you beat. I think I got you beat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I got you beat. I think I got you beat. SHREK: (spoken) Oh you think so? That was a sad story, but… (sung) I've heard better. I'm just saying. A for effort. Thanks for playing. Sad to see a princess suffer, but I had it rougher. Like that time a mob with torches burned my britches. See the scorches? You're just whiny. I had a flaming heiney! As I fled I had to wonder, if I was torn asunder, would an ogre go to heaven? Did I mention I was seven? So... I think I got you beat. I think I got you beat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I got you beat. I think I got you beat. FIONA: No warm regards. SHREK: No Christmas cards. FIONA: And every day… SHREK: …was “Hell on Earth Day”. FIONA: (spoken) Okay, top this… (sung) I missed my prom. SHREK: My Dad and Mom sent me away. It was my birthday. FIONA: (spoken) I was sent away on Christmas Eve. SHREK: (he though he had her) D’ah! FIONA: Ha-ha! (overlapping) FIONA: Bare essentials – army cot, a hot plate and chamber pot, and every morning I would boil it. No choice. I had no toilet. SHREK: No warm regards. No Christmas cards. FIONA: Just a view of devastation out one window. Isolation in my bedroom. And very little headroom. SHREK: And every day was “Hell on Earth Day”. FIONA: Twenty years I sat and waited. I'm very dedicated. On the walls the days were added. Luckily those walls were padded! SHREK: I missed my prom. My Dad and Mom sent me away. It was my birthday. FIONA: Twenty years! SHREK: (mocking Fiona) I missed my prom. TOGETHER: My Dad and Mom sent me away… FIONA: So... SHREK: So… TOGETHER: I think I got you beat. I think I got you beat. SHREK: Yeah. FIONA: Yeah. SHREK: Yeah. FIONA: Yeah. SHREK: Yeah. FIONA: Yeah. TOGETHER: I think I got you beat. I think I got you beat. SHREK: Yeah. FIONA: Yeah. SHREK: Yeah. FIONA: Yeah. SHREK: Yeah. FIONA: Yeah. TOGETHER: I think I got you beat. I think I got you beat. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! (Shrek lets a far slip out.) SHREK: (spoken) Oopsy. Ah well, better out than in I always say. (Fiona considers, then lets one slip herself.) (Shrek, impressed, now commences a duel of fats and burps.) SHREK: Hm-mmm-mm-mm-mm… (burp) FIONA: Hm-mmm-mm-mm-mm… (burp) SHREK: Hm-mmm-mm-mm-mm… (burp) FIONA: Hm-mmm-mm-mm-mm… (burp, burp, burp, big burp) Nya-nay-nay-nana-nyow-nyow… (Freestyle burping and farting contest, until they fall out laughing.) TOGETHER: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. [Thanks to Baddahbu, Alexa for lyrics] [Thanks to Katy, Amanda for corrections] [ Back to Shrek: The Musical lyrics list ]
Shrek: The Musical Soundtrack Lyrics | Shrek The Musical Cast Lyrics for I Think I Got You Beat |
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